..and here is a tip! if you keep going off at everyone like your doing your going to end up with no friends baby girl! yourattitude fucking stinks.

The worst part of that comment.. that stung the most was not that it was from my mum. It was more that I think she's right.

For the past.. 2 weeks has been the worst I guess.. so yeah 2 weeks - I haven't gotten out of bed. I haven't gone to tafe and i've been sleeping all day and staying up all night.
I feel like.. I can't even explain it.

I just have this horrible feeling, and its creeping up out of nowhere so much I don't WANT to get out of bed. I've snapped at everyone whose tried to help.. i've lost more friends in the past fortnight then I have in my whole life.

Nobody texts me anymore, nobody calls.. nobody wants to hang out.. i get no responses on my facebook and its only now just upsetting me. Because a few days ago.. all I wanted was to be alone. I wanted no human contact at all! I liked being by myself, I prefered it, anyone else that was here would just completely agitate me.

Jay changed shifts at work to night shift so he could see me more.. I've become so distant from him even though we live in the same house.
I cried myself to sleep, and then when i wake i cry more as ive realised ive wasted another whole day on sleeping.

The worst part is I don't even feel like changing.. A selfish side of me wishes for whoevers left to leave me alone.
I don't know if I feel sad.. its not sad.. it sounds like im sad i know it does.. but i dont have any reason to BE sad- so its not that. I just feel.. empty and numb. And with no reason.
My life was great, then a month ago I just started feeling it again.. the feeling that made me want to leave school in the first place.

I wish I could describe the feeling.. maybe if I could someone would be able to fix me.